Sharing is caring
by spinlight
Summary: Carly Shay: Carly Shay, seventeen, will be documenting via tape recorder the events of meeting number thirty seven of the trials of the SFC relationship." OT3
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **We don't own iCarly because there isn't a three-way relationship going on (but if a Nick show had a threesome, it would totally be iCarly)

**A/N: **This was written by both **Champagnescene** and I. We are huge seddie people, I like to think but fine with other ships made up of the trio but as the show keeps coming and more seasons keep airing, we can't bring ourselves to leave anyone out anymore because they are just so much more complete as a trio than any one pairing, a nice full circle. The ending session owes some credit to Vix's tatics oneshot.

Had to turn off anon reviews because someone was so insulted by the thought of another pairing besides seddie that they started spamming. I left the review by "Dan Scneider" though. Sorry man, totally didn't mean to be disrespectful to your work... though I'm pretty sure I've seen a Carly/Spencer fic floating around at some point so watch out for that one, dude. Might blow your mind.

--

"I don't enjoy being up this early on a Saturday."

Carly stated matter-of-factly, a tired tint to her voice acting as an indication of such. Her head was resting on Freddie's shoulder while they sat next to the windows, staring back into the classroom, letting the warm sunlight wash over them while waiting for everyone to pile in and for this punishment to start.

He just laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing her closer.

"Uh, pretty sure no one does. I think that's why they make Saturday detentions start so early. All apart of the plan to make the punishment seem more severe."

"Mission accomplished." She yawned out.

Carly and Freddie were the recipients of a shiny and brand new Saturday detention for acts of PDA (real meaning: public display of affection but according to Mr. Howard it means public display of awful and horrendous outbreak of teenage hormones, which totally doesn't fit at all to the abbreviation) after school yesterday. Freddie tried to argue that it technically shouldn't matter because school hours were over but arguing with Mr. Howard was never the right solution to any problem and what might have been just a write up, turned into Saturday detention. Carly wasn't too thrilled with him after that.

"It's just a few hours, I'm sure time will- " His voice trailed off when he looked over towards the clock, seeing the minute hand ticking ever so slowly, almost not at all. "- fly."

Carly followed his gaze and then mourned out. "Awh man, we're gonna be here forever."

After that they sat there in comfortable silence. Freddie was now staring at the clock, trying to confirm his theory that the faculty had somehow developed a time telling device that would go extra super slow so they could really torture kids while Carly was almost lulled back into sleep until the classroom door was pushed open recklessly and Sam scrolled in with her usual careless swagger. She gave the nod in greeting to a few regulars before finally catching sight of the two brunettes.

"Okay, I know we talked about going out more but following me to detention isn't what I had in mind. It's not exactly your scene." The blonde tossed out while walking over. Freddie shook his head as she took a seat on a nearby desktop and leaned back on her hands.

"Mr. Howard gave us detention." Carly informed her, watching the other girl with a small smile.

Sam grinned. "Yeah? What'd you two juvenile delinquents do?"

"Acts of PDAHOTH, according to Howard."

"And then Freddie provoked the old grumpster by arguing with him." Carly lifted her head from his shoulder as she spoke, poking him softly in the side.

"How come you guys didn't tell me?"

Freddie looked up from fending off Carly's finger. "Well, we tried calling my phone-- you know, the one you stole without asking from my room because you _accidentally _smashed yours for science but it was turned off."

Sam leaned back even further for a second and slipped Freddie's phone from her pocket. She tried pressing the power button a few times, growling a bit when nothing happened (causing Freddie to lean forward slightly paranoid his phone would be next to be smashed into a thousand tiny pieces) but then the unruly blonde only shoved the device back into her pocket and looked back over at them, shrugging. "Batteries dead, guess I'll have to steal the charger next time."

Freddie just shook his head but Carly stood up and took the few steps over to Sam before stopping. She popped out her hip and crossed her arms in a way Carly thought was intimidating but Sam and Freddie (and everyone else in Seattle) just found pretty adorable.

"And what did you do to get Saturday detention, Sam." Carly asked in her most strictest of tones.

"Oh you know, this and that."

"Sam."

"It's cool, Shay. It's only illegal in like six states." Sam grinned over at Freddie who was trying to bite back on the one threatening to over take his lips just incase Carly looks back to him for support

That never happened due to Coach Campbell finally arriving and telling everyone to take a seat and to quote 'shut the hell up'. Sam stood up quickly, closing what little distance there was between her and Carly and placing a chaste kiss to the brunette's cheek before moving to take a seat at the back.

"Guess I'll have to tell ya` later."

--

"What's up with the coconut shampoo, Jeeves, makes you smell like a fruit salad." Sam commented from the desk behind him as she ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, doing her best to fluff it out.

"My name isn't Jeeves." He responded briskly without turning around.

"Jeeves and Giles are the only fitting names for a man servant and you don't look like a Giles, Benson."

""How many times do we have to go over this. I'm not a _man servant." _He pushed out through his teeth.

She grinned, fingers playing against the skin of his neck. "Not officially, you have to start wearing that uniform I got ya`. You clean up nice in a tux."

"Sam, stop calling me your butler. I'm in this relationship too."

"Negative, we don't date the help."

Freddie let out a sigh and turned his sights over to their girlfriend, who looked slightly bemused at the normal occurrence. He pleaded with her through his eyes and words.

"Carly."

"Tattle tell." Sam whispered into his ear, all of a sudden really close as she leaned forward into his personal space, resting her chin on his left shoulder for a second. Hands came to trail along his arms and then -- she pinched really hard at the skin on his forearms causing him to cry out.

"Ow!"

It was Carly's turn to sigh, looking over at the blonde with disappointment.

"Sam, you said you'd cut back on the physical abuse when we all started dating."

"Keep it down, Carls, don't preach it to the whole detention, I gotta reputation to keep up around here." Sam let out in harsh and low tones but a look of realization took her over and she continued on. "And no I didn't. I said I'd cut back on you finding out about the physical abuse. Gotta read the fine print."

Freddie laughed a bit, muttering to himself.

"Like you know anything about legal standards and pra-" Then Sam pinched him really hard again. "-ow, Sam!"

"Did that one really hurt, Freddifer, you want mama to kiss it and make it better?"

--

Freddie leaned back in his chair as far as he could, almost trying to lounge in the uncomfortable plastic while the minute hand on the clock refused to budge another inch. They were on hour two, which meant there was only two more to go.

Oh joy.

Carly was studying her notes at the desk to his side and Sam was sitting in the one behind him. He could hear not so lady-like snores hitting the air around him. Sleeping through detention must be her coping mechanism for dealing with the insane amount of detentions she actually gets. At this point it's gotta be the opposite for her. Every one else has a life and gets detention while Sam Puckett has detention and gets life; slight breaks from the four walls of this room.

Freddie's attention was drawn to the front of the room where Coach Campbell stood up and walked to the door. Slowly, the older man turned around and spoke in a low and oddly hushed tone.

"I'm going to have my lunch break. If you brought anything, feel free to have at it but stay in your damn seats and keep quiet."

And then he was gone.

And then all of a sudden Sam was bouncing out of her seat and over to Carly, closing the brunette's notebook and pulling her up.

"Come on, let's go find somewhere private." Sam paused, turning over to Freddie. "And yeah, you can come too. I guess."

"Weren't you just asleep like not even two seconds ago?"

"Nah, faking it. It's the only way Coach feels comfortable leaving the room and me unsupervised." She shrugged.

"Well, that's not surprising but this isn't the breakfast club, Sam. We can't just go walking around the school during detention."

"We aren't going to be walking around if you catch my drift, Benson." Her lewd winks are always the lewdest and most over-exaggerated. "But anyway, yes we can."

"No, we can't." He argued back at her causing her eyes to narrow and her arm to drop from it's position over Carly's shoulders so she could take a step forward.

"Yes we can."

"No we can't."

"Yes we can't."

"No we-"

Carly finally interrupting what would probably have gone on forever without outside influence.

"Come on, Freddie, lets get out of here while we can."

Freddie's mouth was still open from where she cut him off and now he didn't have any words to replace them with because Carly was agreeing with Sam and in this unconventional three-way relationship the trio had embarked on… well, two to one votes always win.

"I win." Sam stated smugly, taking Carly's hand in her own while avoiding another disapproving look from the brunette girl.

He just sighed, nodded and got up. Without thought he moved around the desk and went to take Sam's hand who quickly pulled it away, looking at the other detention regulars and then Freddie as if to ask _'dude, you stupid?'. _He rolled his eyes, and then glared when he went to walk to Carly's other side and felt a sharp and subtle pinch to his ass from the rowdy blonde.

--

"Gee, Sam. The principals office was a great place to try and skip out on detention." Freddie tossed over at the blonde.

"Dude, that was like the first time Franklin has come in on a Saturday in six months, get off my case."

"Freddie, don't hassle Sam. Just be glad we only got another Saturday detention instead of like suspended or something worse."

The male brunette sank broodingly in his seat some more, muttering: "Whatever."

"You're just mad that you were the only one who didn't get serviced. My man servant theory hitting a little too close to home for you right now, isn't it dorkface."

"Enough." Carly stated firmly, causing both Sam and Freddie to look over at her with interest. She turned to Sam first. "How many time do we have to go over this. Sam, Freddie is not the hired help. He is in a relationship with us. Us, meaning you and I. Say it with me now. _'Freddie is in a relationship with us.'_"

Sam looked over at three kids over in the other corner of the room, stubbornly chewing on her lip.

"Sam say it."

"Freddie is in a relationship with us." The blonde painfully mumbled out afterwards, looking at the ceiling.

"We can't hear you."

"Yeah, we can't hear you, Sam."

"Freddie, be quiet." Carly scolded him before looking back over to Sam. "Say it louder, Sam."

"Freddie is in a relationship with us." Sam pushed out each word with deadly force, eyes locked to the ceiling so she didn't have to look at Freddie's grinning face. When Carly looked over to Freddie, she continued in almost non-existent breath. "An employer-employee relationship."

"Okay, Freddie. You're turn."

His eyed widened in the slightest. "My turn what? What do I have to say?"

"Tell Sam how much you are in like with her."

Shouts of protest rang out at the same time.

"Keep your mouth shut, Benson!"

"She'll punch me in the throat if I do that!"

Carly just sighed, nothing was ever easy with these two. She knew she had lost her mind last December when, after coming out to Spencer and starting a relationship with Sam, she decided that she really couldn't live without Freddie in the same capacity either. And just when she thought she was insane, it was actually Sam who vocalized what Carly was feeling before the brunette could. Never in a million years did Carly think Sam would go for it, because she's Sam and Freddie is Freddie but hopefully someone grabbed Hitler a winter coat (because hell froze over).

After that, the now infamous three-way relationship (what Carly and Freddie liked to call it, Sam refers to it as _two girls, a dork and a pizza place threesome_) was quickly started because Freddie needed little to no pushing into it, though he was wary of it being a prank and Sam punching him. Kind of like now.

The brunette girl shook the cobwebs from her head, realizing she spaced for a few moments.

Looking over, she noticed Sam and Freddie were now thumb wresting and doing that eye flirting thing they always do and think she doesn't notice.

She's definitely lost her mind but these two were the only two people in the world who were worth it.

"Alright."

Everyone in the classroom looked over to where Coach Campbell stood at the door, pulling on his vintage (totally fake) leather jacket before continuing.

"You've served your time, get the hell out of here. Puckett, Rogars and Cole. See ya` next week."

"Later, dude." Sam let out while at the same time, completely destroying Freddie in their latest thumb wrestling match. "Looks like Carly is mine."

"Huh?" Freddie looked at her with an arched brow.

"That last match was for keeps. Carly is mine now."

"We weren't playing for keeps on our girlfriend, Sam. You can't just make up a bet after the fact."

The blonde stood up, stretching upwards while grinning.

"I didn't, I clearly said it right before we started."

Freddie looked deep in thought for a second before shouting out. "That's what you were mumbling? You said it was a cough, that's not fair, Sam!"

Another sigh and Carly took Sam's hand, motioning to Freddie with her other one to grab his stuff.

"Come on, you two. We have a session to record, and I think it's going to be a long one."

--

Unconventional, at best.

Sam nudged Freddie harshly in the side and he shot her annoyed look. She smirked, " Too close to my merchandise."

Revolting, at worst- well, at least in a teenage girl's dictionary.

"Sam, she isn't your merchandise." Freddie resumed his position next to Carly, throwing his arm over the girl's petite shoulders and looking back to the screen in front of the three.

Sam frowned, pushing him roughly to the side and throwing her own arm over Carly's shoulder with a smile. "Carls' reputation can't handle any more damage, Freddifer. What do you think would happen if it got out that not only was she sleeping with me, but also with the…" she looked him over. "The creepy, stalker-ish help."

"Sam," Carly interjected with a sigh, drawing her attention away from the kiss scene in _"Wanted" _to try and smooth out the kinks in her relationship. "Freddie is _not _the help, or a stalker. And Freddie…" Carly gave a helpless shrug. "I know we've been over this but can't you just let her have her way until the end of the movie."

"It's okay, Carls, you don't have to pacify him. Freddie is well aware of his social class- even if he tries to deny it." Sam gave another small tug to Carly, practically drawing her into her lap.

Freddie glared, his retort lost on his lips when as he met Carly's pleading eyes. He flopped back down on his beanbag in defeat. "This isn't over, Puckett," he insisted, "It's just on hold for now because I actually care about Carly."

Carly gave him a flat look the seemed to convey the message of _'not helping'_. While Sam made a show of running her finger's through the brunette's hair. "Yeah, yeah," Sam laid her chin atop Carly's head. "Just as long as you _'care' _from a five feet away distance."

"Guys, why can't we ever just watch a movie in peace." Carly took Freddie's hand in hers and tugged him closer, earning a scowl from Sam. "Sam, I like Freddie," she told the blonde. "Freddie, I like Sam," Freddie raised a questioning eyebrow at the brunette. "And, even if you won't admit it- Freddie, you like Sam and Sam, you like Freddie." Sam opened her mouth to disagree but Carly wouldn't allow it. "And don't try to deny it because I know what you're doing when you," she pointed to Sam, "Don't answer your phone and your mother," she wagged her finger at Freddie, "Hears strange noises at the night."

Freddie flushed as Sam shrugged.

"Freddie is simply the accessory to our relationship, Carls," Sam tried to clarified. "He's like the free toy inside the cereal box that you never really wanted but find yourself playing with anyways."

"Really, Sam," Freddie stared at her flatly.

"What? I said I played with you, didn't I? At least you weren't one of those lame free books- if you were, I would of gotten a restraining order against your ass ages ago."

"Guys, can we please just finish watching the movie. I promise, after it's over we'll have meeting…"

"Thirty seven," Freddie supplied.

"Yes, thirty seven about our relationship. We'll discuss any complaints and-"

"Do we have to have another dumb meeting?" Sam reached out to flick Freddie's forehead for no apparent reason. "We have a relationship," she gave Carly an affectionate pat to the cheek. "And he has a problem. I'm sure with immersive amounts of therapy he'll come to terms with the fact that his life has been one big delusion."

Carly sighed, "Let's just watch the movie."

--

**Carly Shay: **Carly Shay, seventeen, will be documenting via tape recorder the events of meeting number thirty seven of the trials of the SFC relationship.

**Samantha Puckett:** Serious, with the formalities and everything?

**Freddie Benson: **We wouldn't have to go to such extremes if you'd just be rational.

**Carly Shay: **Guys, please let me just get done with the introductions before you begin your bickering. As I was saying, on December third, 2012, Carly Shay, Freddie Benson, seventeen, and Sam Puckett, sixteen, commenced dating. Each other. At the same time, to be clear. December fourth, 2012 the first SFC relationship trial took place. From there, thirty six other meetings have taken place.

**Samantha Puckett: **_(sighing) _And what have we established from all these stupid meetings?

**Freddie Benson: **_(Rolling his eyes) _That I like you, you like Carly, Carly likes me, I like Carly, and Carly likes you. And do you really have to say I'm rolling my eyes?

**Carly Shay: **Yes. Now, this meeting is to address the issue of Sam refusing to acknowledge that Freddie is part of our- our referring to mine, Freddie's and Sam's- relationship.

**Freddie Benson: **I vote that if she can't acknowledge all members of this relationship she'd be voted out.

**Samantha Puckett: **This isn't survivor, Benson, you can't vote me off the island. If we were voting, though, you would have been thrown to the sharks the first episode.

**Freddie Benson: **_(flatly) _They didn't throw people to the sharks in survivor, Sam.

**Samantha Puckett: **_(scoffing) _This is survivor: Sam P. addition- it goes there.

**Freddie Benson: **_(annoyed) _You stole that from that one teen show, the Canadian one…um…

**Carly Shay: **_(helpfully) _Degrassi.

**Samantha Puckett: **Who cares? And how come you refer to Fredward as Freddie but me as 'Samantha", that's unfair.

**Carly Shay: **Noted, you will from here on be referred to as Sam Puckett. Can we get to the actual problem here, we need to find a solution before Spencer comes home.

**Sam Puckett: **Still haven't told the big brother that you're screwing the best friend and the help? At the same time.

**Freddie Benson: **I am not the help!

**Carly Shay: **_(ignoring Freddie Benson's comment) _He's still getting over the fact that I like girls.

**Sam Puckett: **Well, I'm sure the fact that you still like boys well soften the blow.

**Carly Shay: **_(sarcastically) _Oh yeah, 'Hey Spencer, you know how I said I liked girls? Well, the good news is that I like boys too. In fact, just to prove I really do like both genders I'm currently dating my best friend. What? You thought I was dating Sam? Silly, Spencer, I'm dating Sam and Freddie'

**Sam Puckett: **_(shrugging) _I mean, I'm sure he'd be a little disappointed in you for dating Freddifer here when you already got a smokin' hot babe like me, but you got two for the price of one- Mama be'd proud of ya.

**Freddie Benson: **And the reason these trials never work is…

**Carly Shay: **Spencer couldn't take it. He's just not ready for something…

**Freddie Benson: **Morally corrupt?

**Sam Puckett: **Overwhelmingly awesome?

**Carly Shay: **_(nervously) _I was going to go with strange. Oh, crap. We're getting off subject, sorry.

**Freddie Benson: **We were never on topic.

**Sam Puckett: **Why are still even doing this? I'm hungry.

**Freddie Benson: **You just ate, like, less than thirty minutes ago.

**Sam Puckett: **_(suggestively) _I'm not hungry for food.

_(Freddie Benson looks to Carly in a suggestive way that seems to say, 'Can we go? I really want to' and then proceeds to wait for approval before letting out a sigh.)_

**Freddie Benson: **_(seemingly annoyed) _My look did not convey that message or a message anywhere near that. And, again, must you say this all aloud?

**Carly Shay: **The tape recorder can't see our expressions, Freddie. We have to be as accurate as possible.

**Sam Puckett: **_(cockily) _Please, Benson, we all know you want me.

_(Benson then proceeds to try and ravish the lovely and gracious Sam, but she rejects him for the obvious reasons.)_

**Carly Shay: **Sam, that isn't what happened, you're giving an inaccurate record. Freddie did nothing but rolled his eyes.

**Sam Puckett: **It's in the subtext, Shay.

**Freddie Benson: **There was no subtext, believe me. Seriously though, it's getting annoying have to state our every movement, can we end this?

_(Suggestive looks pass through the group. Note: suggestive look started from Sam Puckett and vaguely aimed in the direction of Freddie Benson therefore supporting the fact that both Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson do have feelings for each other.)_

**Freddie Benson: **_(flatly as Sam Puckett pulls at his own and Carly Shay's arms) _We always make so much progress with these trials. Glad we have em'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: We don't own iCarly, it'd get too sexy.

**A/N: **Lot of people asked for it, which was cool because we had decided to keep writing in this little universe anyway. Who knows how long we'll keep going but here is another part or instance or whatever.

--

"Why can't we ever go out to the movies? Blood and Guts II just came out and I'm tired of Netflix." Sam complained while she lounged out on top of her significant others, who were sitting on the couch in the Shay's living room.

Blonde curls in Carly's lap, gray converses in Freddie's.

"Because Sam," Carly began, fingers running through Sam's hair while eyes remained locked on television screen. "Something about the anonymity of being in a dark theater makes you more of a horndog than usual. Do you not remember a month ago when we went to the movies and you practical made us have a threesome?"

"No one gets made to have a threesome. It's something everyone wants. And hey, if a threesome had transpired that night, it would have been because you guys couldn't keep your hands to yourselves. Which I don't blame you, I'm sexy as all hell."

Freddie shook his head, it was something he did a lot in her company. Shake his head, roll his eyes, huff indignantly.

"Our wandering hands were definitely not the problem."

"I'd be careful with the sass, Benson. Need I remind you where my foot is currently resting."

Freddie instantly tensed up, hand coming to lightly rest on her shins causing Sam to just laugh as she focused on the screen.

"Relax Jeeves, little Freddie is safe. It's one of the only things that makes you useful."

Cue indignant huff.

"Sam."

"I know, I know. He's not the help, don't define him by his equipment. Broken record already, Carls."

For the next five minutes things were quiet except for the sound coming from the tv. Five minutes is the breaking point though and Sam starts getting antsy. It might be a combination of the way Carly is threading her fingers through Sam's hair and the way Freddie is subconsciously grazing his finger tips up and down against the fabric of Sam's jeans or it could just be that she's ready to go all the time but in the next moment, Sam decides things are going to get a little rated R.

So she sits up, falling into the empty space between Carly and Freddie before pressing up against the side of her girlfriend. When Carly looks over to question it, the brunette finds herself in a liplock. And because it's with Sam, it's a steamy kiss with all kinds of need and fervor.

Sam's hand reaches out behind her and feels around blindly for a few seconds before coming into contact with Freddie's tee shirt and pulling him over.

One kiss ends.

Another begins.

Needless to say, the movie is now forgotten.

All of a sudden, Sam is pulling off Freddie's shirt and there is a breath of annoyance at being manhandled but it's nothing new so the complaint never escapes in words.

Carly's turn, her cute pink sweater pulled over her head and dropped to the hard wood floor.

And right around this time, as Sam is about to take her own shirt off and ravish her two best friends slash spouses, well that's when Spencer walks in with Sasha in tow.

"Shirtless Freddie!" His voice rings out in alarm and his hand instantly shoots up to shield Sasha's eyes from the scene.

But then he takes in the fact that Carly is also shirtless.

"Oh God, shirtless baby sister!" And he uses his free hand to bring one of Sasha's hands up to shield his eyes so the two of them are standing there (Spencer horrified and Sasha laughing), blinded from the scene.

--

Carly is up stairs with Sasha.

Sam and Freddie are sitting on the couch, at different sides with a good amount of space between them while Spencer is pacing back and forth in front of them. His face is tense and contorted tight with thought before looking over to the two youths.

Finally he stopped, fixing his gaze onto Sam.

"Sam, what are your intentions with my sister?"

She arched her brow. "We've had _the talk_, already."

"Oh right." He paused. "Okay then, what are your intentions with Freddie?"

"Huh?"

"I don't know!" Spencer exclaimed, taking a seat on the coffee table. "I'm so confused, no told me how to handle if your sister decides she's a bisexual and wants to date both her best friends!"

Freddie looks empathic while Sam just looked bored.

"What's going on, with the three of us well-- it's complicated."

"We're all in a relationship; figure three is better than two, right? There, saved us all a two hour conversation and after school special hug."

"Sam, you can't act li-" He paused, looking over the blonde with question turning his lips into a frown. "Did you just say we were in a relationship. Like _we_ meaning all three of us? Including me? In the three?"

Spencer made something similar to an _ahem_ sound, loud and over the top.

"Back to what's important here, I thought Carly decided she liked girls now?"

"Well, then she decided she liked boys again, or too."

"More to the point, she decided she liked nerds, apparently."

Freddie scowled.

Sam grinned.

Spencer hmm'd.

"So… the three of you are really serious about this three-way relationship thing?"

Freddie looked to Sam who just shrugged and started messing with the hem of her sleeves, causing the brunette boy to shake his head (for the millionth time) and turn back to Spencer.

"Yeah, we're pretty serious about this, Spence." He looked down to his lap for a moment before back up to the older male. "It just works, ya` know? We all fit together to make something complete-"

"Oh Christ, could you make it sound any gayer?" Sam muttered at his side causing him to glare over at her.

Spencer took this opportunity to let Freddie's words sink in while watching the two kids he's considered family for the last five or six years. They were good kids -- bit dysfunctional and sometimes violent (Sam) -- but well meaning and good. The relationship was highly unconventional but who was he to judge conventionality.

If this is what the three of them need to be happy, he certainly wasn't going to stand in the way of that.

"Okay."

Freddie and Sam both turned to him at the same time, but it was Sam who spoke first.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay?"

"Okay."

Sam gave Spencer a hard look. "You do know we're both getting it on your little sister right?"

"Sam!"

"What? I said _getting it on _not banging or something. Anyway, the guy is an adult."

"Barely!" Spencer paused. "Oh wait, yeah. Yeah, I am- just listen. All I want is for Carly to be happy; for all of you to be happy. If this is what you all want, then you have my support."

"Wow, thanks Spence."

"Yeah," Spencer stood up, moving towards the kitchen. "Just try not to get half naked in my living room, not something I want to walk in on."

"You should try knocking sometime then."

"It's my apartment!"

"Whatever." Sam grinned over at Freddie who grinned back at her until she reached over and gave him a pinch, then it was the usual.

Shake of the head, roll of the eyes, indignant huff.

--

Sasha always seemed like a cool girl.

Out of all of her brother's girlfriend, Sasha, or _'the girl in the sexy purple tank-top' _as Spencer often referred to her even though Carly had only seen her wear the said tank-top once, was definitely her favorite. She had girl talk with Carly, didn't treat her like a kid and Carly basically considered her a friend.

Well, until now.

Sasha had her legs crossed- her too damn perfect legs, it was just unhealthy- and held her lips in a flat line as her brown/black eyes stared at Carly. The red dress she had wore for her date with Spencer only added to make her look more intimidating, more perfect. Carly was sure that if she was downstairs with Freddie and Sam was in her place, Sam would be trying to get Sasha in on their relationship. The girl was hot, Carly had to admit, and it didn't help this situation at all.

"So," Sasha started, her accent light but noticeable. "What was that all about?"

She didn't seem menacing or judging but Carly seemed to shrink. She had never been good at talking about hers, Freddie's and Sam's relationship. No matter how she tried to explain that she really did like Sam and Freddie- in that 'I love You' way they do in romance movies, no one seemed to see her as more than a bi-curious…well, a bi-curious not too elegant word. No one seemed to understand that you could love more than one person at the same time, and as she stared down at her hands trying to form an answer, she feared Sasha would be one of those people.

"Well," Carly flushed. "Freddie, Sam and I were watching a movie." For about two point three seconds.

Sasha was patient, simply raising an eyebrow in that therapist-cool manner. "Shirtless?"

"It was hot." Carly was really hoping Sasha would ignore the fact it could be no more than seventy degrees in the apartment, at most.

"And Sam's lips were kind of on Freddie's and her hand was kind on your," Sasha gave Carly a 'I'm so sorry I have to say this and embarrassing you look before continuing. "Ladies."

"Well, me and Sam are dating," Carly was grateful it was just her and Sasha, Sam would have had a field day with Carly implying that Freddie wasn't a part of their relationship.

"So…Sam was cheating on you?"

Carly bit her lip. "Well, not exactly, no. I mean, she-we, us- we're-" Carly glanced anxiously at Sasha who was still doing that 'I'm too cool to show my emotions' thing. "We're together!" Carly broke, burying her face in her hands. "One day Sam kissed me and than I realized 'hey, I'm not exactly straight' because it felt really good and if that wasn't bad enough I started to realize I liked Freddie too. I mean, it's not possible to like two people, right? That's what you must be thinking, but than Sam seemed to realize I like Freddie and one day out of the blue she just gets up and kisses him, throws him down on me and says, _'Your in'_, like we're some kind of club or something. So, from there we just all started dating each other and…you totally think I'm disgusting, don't you?"

Carly was afraid to look up so she kept in the solitude of the darkness her hands provided. It wasn't until a slightly musical laugh floated to her ears did she dare sneak a peek. "Carly, I don't think you're disgusting," Sasha gave her a warm smile. "You're in love with them, no? I can see it on your face when you talk, you get that starry eyed expression."

"I love them," Carly confirmed, feeling a slight ease wash over her.

"Well then, I don't see anything wrong. Love can never be too big or too small, my mother use to tell me, and in this case you have a lot of love. It's cute."

Carly cocked an eyebrow. "You think having a, in technical terms, threesome with my two best friends is 'cute'?"

Sasha shrugged, "I had a very unconventional upbringing." That was obvious. "Plus, I sort of already figured that you three had something going on."

"You did?" Beside that whole PDA thing they had a problem with, they were pretty secretive. Well, at least at home. Freddie's splash face status as 'Winning at Life' and Sam's racy splash face pictures kind of kept it hard to keep their relationship from their friends- but at home it was strictly one girl to a person. Ms. Benson tried sending Freddie to therapy after she found out about Sam's and Carly's relationship and even now was refusing to speak to the two, and even though two technically was better than one, Carly doubted she'd be happy to find her son was in a very…sharing relationship.

"Your brother and Freddie's mother may be oblivious but you guys don't do a very good job at hiding your relationship. Freddie doesn't have a girlfriend and yet he always seems to have hickeys- which Sam always has a way of bringing up when me and Spencer are around, and, to be blunt, the three of you have so much eye-sex that I want to wear condom-colored glasses whenever I step into this apartment."

Carly blushed as Sasha laughed.

Sure, Sam was pretty much the most sexual person Carly had ever met and Freddie, as much as he'd like to deny, wasn't too far behind Sam, but still. Carly thought they'd been pretty restrained around Spencer. Sam usually wouldn't detach her hands from Carly when Spencer was around, taking advantage of the fact that Freddie could do nothing but watch, while Carly remained apathetic towards the two. Sure, maybe every now and then Sam had engaged in a fun risk-make out session as soon as Spencer turned his back but they had never gotten caught. And sure, Freddie and Sam did have that eye sex thing- but really, it was more like an eye-rape since Sam seemed to force it on Freddie and be done in a matter of minutes.

"Did Spencer pick up on it too? Maybe just a little?" Carly stared at the iCarly studio door, mind wondering to the three engaging in god knows what on the floor below.

Sasha frowned and gave a small shake of her head. "I still think he was getting over the '_my little sister likes girl'_ matter." Carly tasted the faint taste of blood as she chewed on her lip. "Want to head downstairs?"

"Yes, Please."

--

When Carly and Sasha came down the stairs, they were greeted with the sight of Sam standing on the coffee table with Freddie in a tight headlock, throwing her head back and laughing. Spencer was off to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching the scene with a look akin to morbid interest. Sort of like a car wreck, you just can't look away.

Carly slowly made her way over to her brother, unsure of what had taken place while she was upstairs with Sasha. When she was close enough, Spencer asked a question absently.

"So how does this, like work? With the three of you and the two of them. Isn't what's going on considered domestic abuse now?"

Carly is back to chewing her lip, voice small. "Freddie's agreed to not press charges."

It finally really registers that his sister and his girlfriend have come back down stairs and he turns towards Carly, who still looks hesitant. He pushes off from the counter and moves around it, holding out his arms.

"Come `ere, kid."

And then the world doesn't seem so dark and scary; it's all butterflies and rainbows and carebears again.

Carly moves quickly to her big brother and they hug it out something fierce while Sasha stands off to the side smiling and Sam and Freddie don't even notice there are other people in the room because they are in a battle of wills-- Sam clearly winning.

The brunette girl looks up from the hug. "So you aren't mad, or like disappointed… disgusted?" She ended quietly and all Spencer could do was shake his head and smile gently.

"You three have basically always been in a relationship, now it just comes with" He pauses, and maybe grimaces a bit. "shirtless time. Which by the way, never again in my living room."

"Sorry." Carly squeaks out while blushing.

"It's okay, just caught me off guard is all."

Carly smiled brightly before looking over to her significant others and letting out a tiny sigh.

"Better go break them up before Freddie needs a neck brace. We'll go upstairs."

Spencer gave her an almost alarmed look so she continued on quickly.

"To work on iCarly!"

Spencer wasn't quite sure he believed her but said nothing as she moved over to Sam and Freddie, standing in front of them with her hip popped out-- her adorably intimidating stance. Freddie looked guilty (though he shouldn't be) and Sam looked proud (though she shouldn't be) and it wasn't long before Carly was dragging the two upstairs to _work on iCarly._

As the kids ran upstairs, Spencer moved back into the kitchen and over to the fridge, starting to get some stuff out to cook dinner. He almost forgot Sasha was over until she spoke and he turned around to find her now leaning on the counter with a coy grin.

"You know your sister has the right idea. About the whole threesome thing. Hey, I've always found your doorman-- what's his name? Lewbert? I've always found him pretty attractive. Why don't we go ask hi-"

To which he instantly replied while plugging his ears: "La la la la can't hear you."

"Or Ms. Benson across the hall, I always thought you two had a lot of pent up sexual tension."

"She's like fifty!" Spencer exclaimed.

"I thought you said cougars were hot?"

"Yeah, when they look like Courtney Cox, not a creature from the black lagoon."

Sasha just shrugged, still grinning.

"You know, your sister and her friend are right. Freddie is kinda cute."

"I will break up with you right now." Spencer said with a resoluteness.

"No you won't."

And then he broke.

"I know but stop." He whined out. "You're making my tummy hurt."

"You know one person is enough for me. Just not your sister judging from the noise from upstairs."

"Stop it!"

"I wonder exactly who has the _magic hands _according to Carly."

Spencer's eyes widened. "I just threw up in my mouth, a little."

"Gross, Spence."

"I know right, here, come give me a kiss."

And then Spencer proceeded to chase Sasha around the apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **We don't own iCarly. The young kids aren't ready for female on female action right after Spongebob.

**A/N: **Ot3! Amusement parks! Fun Forest is real but we have no idea if it contains the things mentioned in the story. Liberal use of the word _'whore'_.

Also not sure if people think it's just me continuing with the updates but it's still a dual effort by Champagnescene and I in the caring series.

--

**Wendy's pov**

It was nine in the morning and a Thursday. The trio sat three rows from the back and Wendy had been watching them ever since they all piled in on the bus heading towards _Fun Forest_, the amusement park at the Seattle Center. Normally the class trip was something better, but you know with all the budget cuts and all that, this was the best they were going to get. Wendy was only one row behind them but off to the left so it wasn't hard to listen in on their conversation due to that fact and that all the other kids were either asleep or listening to music so everything was pretty much quiet.

Carly was saying something, sitting in the middle of Sam and Freddie while opening the brown paper bag in her lap and looking down into it.

"I don't know why Spencer insisted on packing me a lunch for today. Sam was over last night so there was no food left in the fridge."

Wendy shifted in her seat, trying to find an ounce of comfort from the stiff cushion as Sam turned her attention from the window she was staring out of over to Carly and grinned a huge grin. The blonde placed her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"So what did you end up getting?" Freddie asked, watching them as Wendy watched him.

"Looks like half a turkey sandwich, a banana and a-" She paused, pulling something out of the bag and inspecting it. "Looks like a dried up paint brush."

"Mom packed me a tupperware of steamed vegetables and soy cookies."

Sam intertwined her fingers with Carly's, and Wendy was almost certain Freddie did the same to Carly's other hand but it was hard to see from this angle.

"All mom packed me was twenty bucks from Benson's wallet."

"Sam! Stay out of my wallet and jeans when I leave the room." Freddie reprimanded.

Wendy arched a brow at that last comment, wondering why he'd be leaving his pants unattended around Sam or Carly-- why he wouldn't be in said pair of pants in the first place. Only one or two explanations came to mind and they weren't all that logical, or ones she really wanted to explore now that she had faced a certain realization a few days ago. Freddie and her had dated a few months ago and it was nice and everything but it felt like they weren't really clicking after awhile. That there was just no spark, just really good making out and nothing else so they had decided to end it but still be friends. But now, almost all of a sudden, well maybe she felt something that could possibly, sort of be considered a spark. She really didn't have a name for it yet but it was spreading everyday.

She really didn't know what to do about it.

There was a moment that started it. They were partnered together for science and were at their counter top. Freddie was searching through their textbook for the chapter they were suppose to be on and he was doing that really cute thing he does when he is concentrating really hard. He just gets this look on his face where his eyebrows are furrowed and he starts to chew on his tongue and it's ten kinds of adorable. That wasn't new though, she always thought that about him but for some reason that day, she couldn't look away. And like from that point on, she couldn't help herself. She felt like a stalker the way she had been staring and following. Nothing noteworthy had happened but something shifted or whatever because there was a feeling in her stomach and it was starting to really stir up butterflies.

"You there, Wendy?"

The redhead shook her head, snapping out of her trance to see Freddie turned slightly her way, watching her with an unsure smile.

"Huh- what?" She eloquently responded.

He just laughed.

"I asked are you excited for the trip but I guess not, you seem pretty out of it. You okay?"

Butterflies astir and she fights off the blush and burn of red threatening to overtake her cheeks as she meets his gaze.

"Just little tired, I guess I stayed up a bit too late last night because of not having to go to class today."

"Oh ye-"

Sam's interruption was loud and fully her.

"Jeeves, you're on the clock. Turn your ass around and answer Carly's question."

Freddie rolls his eyes and gives Wendy an apologetic look before turning back to the two girls he was currently sitting with and she's not sure which emotion is filling her up more. Gratefulness that she didn't embarrass herself more or annoyance at having his attention taken away so quickly and so easily. She decides to try and focus on something else to clear her head, looking out the window as Freddie says something and Carly laughs.

It only works for a few seconds before she turns back around to see Sam grinning, Freddie sighing and Carly shaking her head.

She felt a sinking somewhere in her chest, somewhere in the middle.

--

**Freddie's pov**

"Oh, this one, Carls."

The trio had been at the park for half an hour now and he watched as Sam pulled Carly off to the side, cutting three people in line and moving the brunette girl and herself into one of those swan boat things that slowly drifts into a tunnel or whatever. Freddie made quiet apologies as he too cut past them to stand on the edge, looking down at the girls. One of them was grinning and the other looked conflicted and it was pretty easy to guess which facial expression belonged to which girl.

He knew Sam was going to take advantage of the fact they were still trying to keep their three-way relationship somewhat low key.

"Sam, that's not fair." He stated, crossing his arms over his chest. She was always pulling stuff like this and he was really getting tired of it. After the treaty of trial session number forty three, she agreed to cut back. Well kind of agreed anyway, was kind of hard to understand her with all that bribe food in her mouth but it definitely sounded like a '_fine'. _

Definitely.

"What's not fair, nerdball?"

"This. Taking Carly on the tunnel of love. We agreed no two person rides and this kind especially."

Sam shook her head, wrapping an arm around Carly's shoulders.

"Naw, I didn't agree to crap."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't."

"Sam, you did."

The blonde rolled her neck, leaning snugly into Carly before speaking. "Unless you have written consent or video taped proof, shut your face. Besides, my girl here wants to ride the ride. Don't you, baby."

The fact Carly looked tense and contrite about it made him feel a little better but not by much. He shifted his weight from his left leg to his right while Carly spoke.

"We did agree to that, Sam. Let's just get off an-"

She was cut off by Wendy appearing next to him, shyly smiling.

"I was thinking of getting on, this use to be my favorite ride." She paused, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and looking at him in this way he couldn't really describe. "You can ride in one with me if you want, since their's seems to be full."

Well, it was certainly nice of her but he just didn't feel right about going in the _tunnel of love_ with his ex-girlfriend and right behind his two current ones. He turned around to look at Carly and Sam and both didn't seem too thrilled with the idea. The fact that Sam had her eyes narrowed filled him with more joy than it probably should but she rarely shows that she gives a flying chiz about him so he has to take small, unmentionable victories.

"The kid doesn't want to ride with you, Michaelson." Sam stated rather rudely.

"Sam, be nice." Carly admonished, rather pathetically and Freddie just shook his head.

"It's really nice of you to offe-"

He was cut off mid-sentence when he turned around to explain to Wendy that it was nice of her to offer but he had to say no. You see, what happened to cut him off was Sam gripping the back of his shirt and pulling him rather dangerously backwards into their swan boat. He let out a what people might refer to as a less than manly yelp before he fell onto the girl's laps. He was looking up into Carly's wide eye'd, surprised face before trying to sit up.

"Sam, what the hell?"

Sam however was looking over at Wendy, the two seemed to be having a battle of wills slash impulsive staring contest.

"Looks like we managed to fit him in our boat." The blonde placed her elbows on his legs, leaning into and over him. "Sorry, guess you'll just have to find some other loser to ride with. Or you know, ride alone."

Wendy said nothing in response, but instead strained her lips into a thin line and briskly walked away.

Freddie tried sitting up again but was pushed back down by the blonde.

"Sam!"

"Shut up and enjoy the ride, Benson. It's not everyday mama lets you sit on her lap in public."

--

**Carly's pov**

"No."

Freddie sighed and Carly felt like doing the same as she set her sights on the girl in front of her, arms crossed over her chest in defiance as her blue eyes bored into the two from the ground.

"Sam, we have to meet the group in five minutes- it's not something we can just skip out, they'll start looking for us if we don't check in," Carly tried to reason with her girlfriend. Sam, of course, had decided that right before they had to go check in with their teachers that she was too hungry to move from the spot she was currently in- sitting Indian-style in the middle of the park pathway.

"I can' help it, my legs won't work." For show she picked up her leg and let it drop into the ground before giving Carly a _'what can you do' _look.

"Sam, that's crap and we both know it."

Sam stared at him, her blue eyes considerably flatter as they switched to him. "What was that, Jeeves? You're going to go get me and Carly some funnel cake since your working over time to make up for whoring about with that Windy girl."

Carly bit her lip to hide her amusement, somewhat amused by Sam's antics. Normally, Carly would feel her usual bout of boredom when Sam and Freddie got into one of their spats, but as of late Carly had been almost…happy with Sam's ability to get under Freddie's skin. She knew it was horrible, but she really wasn't all to thrilled with Freddie's renewed friendship with Wendy, even if once upon a time her and Carly had been good friends. Wendy was a bit too friendly with Freddie and he did nothing but nurture her affections, like he didn't have a girlfriend. Which he did, two of them in fact.

So, Carly choose to ignore the _'Please help me'_ look Freddie sent her and go with Sam on this one.

"Sam, Wendy isn't a whore," Freddie defended and Sam narrowed her eyes. Carly gave Freddie a look, hoping her being offended was playing out on her face because she really didn't want to verbalize her…jealousy.

"Freddie, she kind of is," Sam argued, turning to Carly. "Right?"

They both turned to look at her and Carly shrugged. "I mean, she does sleep with everyone she meets and there was that thing with the webcam and the school website…"

"You know those are just rumors," he said to Carly, and it was clear he was disappointed for taking Sam's side in this. Carly tried to ignore the little bout of guilt that came upon her. "She's not like that she's-"

"A sweet girl?" Sam interrupted, rolling her eyes. "Nice try defending her virtue, Freddifer, but as I remember before you guys were even dating she was trying to rape you!" Sam voice was backed with harshness and Carly instantly saw a warning flash before her eyes. As much fun as it was to pick fun (punish) at Freddie if they were seriously fighting then she'd have to be split between them like a child of a pair of divorcee (or, a divorcee and a…was there a term for a male divorcee?).

"How do you know it wasn't the other way around?" he challenged, which really only dug his gave a bit deeper.

"Because you'd be the chick in the situation since the Windy red whore looks like a man and so she'd have to rape you because, let's face it, we all know you don't have the backbone to make the first move."

Freddie flushed and Carly could see he was seriously stung. "Freddie, you know she's only playing…" Carly tried, but her argument felt weak.

"Her name is _Wendy_ and she's not a whore. And- you know what, Sam, you're not even worth it." Freddie turned to Carly. "I'm going to meet the teachers, are you coming?"

Carly glanced at Sam, who seemed to have slipped back in obliviousness as she tilted her head skyward. "I can't just leave Sam. _We_ just can't leave Sam." Freddie flushed again and shook his head.

"_You_ can't leave Sam, I, however can leave Sam." He turned his attention back to the blonde. "This is me leaving you."

Sam smirked, cruel and cold. "Please, I voted your ass off the island ages ago."

"Sam," Carly scolded. "Freddie, come on you know how she is and she's hungry which always makes her irritable and…"

"I'm not upset, really. Sam doesn't like me and obviously has no respect for me so…" he gave her a shrug. "I have to go meet the teachers."

Carly opened her mouth to respond but no words came, she wasn't the one who needed to say something. Freddie started off and Carly turned to Sam who was watching his figure fade away, expression apathetic.

"So," she turned to Carly, "How 'bout that funnel cake?"

--

**Sam's pov**

Carly was clearly angry.

It was clear as Sam draped her arms around the girl's shoulder and made sure to PDA it up all over the place that Carly's mind was elsewhere- she hadn't even scolded Sam when she had started to gnaw at Carly's neck. As they waited in line for the Ferris wheel Carly's eyes were glued on to a certain butler and his little red whore companion.

"He still has a girlfriend, you know," Carly was saying, more to herself. "He still has girlfriend_s, _so why is he with _her?_" Carly tried to turn towards Sam, but as if she was just noticing, realized it was impossible with Sam attacking her neck. "Sam, not here! And why aren't you worried?"

Sam sighed and pulled herself away from her girlfriend, taking a glance towards the offending couple. "I'm not worried because, despite what everyone says, finding good help actually isn't that hard." Plus, it had to be only a matter of time before Freddie came to his sense and came crawling back. Like Carly said, she and him were still technically still in a relationship and as the proud owner of Carly, when he came back to Carly, he came back to her.

"Sam, he isn't the help. You love Freddie, Freddie loves you- we've discussed this, admitted it, repeated it over and over again and yet neither of you seem to get it into your head." Carly huffed, turning red in a way that Sam found adorable.

"Aw," Sam cooed. "You're really upset about this. Cupcake, no matter what I'll still be there for you- which is more than enough seeing as how I'm the best part, besides you, of this little three-way anyway."

"Sam, this is a serious situations. Freddie is up there with that-"

"Windy red whorebag?"

"Yes, that."

"Don't sweat it Carls, if she makes a move, I'll beat up both of 'em for ya." Carly shot her a look and Sam just shrugged, moving up in line as web-camming Windy and Jeeves got into their car. Sam ignored the emotion that shall remained unnamed as it ran through her. She wasn't jealous, she was just enraged that he had the nerve to go clean somebody else's house- if you got her drift.

"They actually got into the car, together. You know what happens in those cars, don't you?"

"Does it start with a 'Q' and rhyme with Mickie?"

Carly whirled on Sam, her eyes wide. "You don't think they'd go that far, do you?"

Sam shrugged. "The girl does have a reputation."

Carly paled as they made it to the front of the row, getting ushered into a cotton-candy colored car. Sam frowned as Carly fell into that depression/frantic worrying thing she did when she was upset. So Freddie had decided to ditch them for Ms. Red Riding (any boy within a five feet distance) Hood, what was the big deal? His taste had obviously declined, who wanted him anyway.

The Ferris wheel stopped and the car swayed slightly, putting the butler's car in sight for a brief second. Sam nudged Carly, turning towards the window. "Hey, look, you can see them. Right there- all huddled together like that banana and can of peppy cola was in Windy's little webcam video."

Carly immediately stopped wringing her hands together and turned towards the window, practically gluing her eyes to the glass she pressed her face so hard against it.

"They're sitting together!" She tapped the glass repeatedly, setting her disbelieving eyes on Sam.

"That is what I just said, yes. And nevermind the fact that there is only one place to sit in these things, he should of took the floor, that's where dogs are supposed to sit anyway."

"Look, look- she just touched his shoulder." Sam turned her attention back to the car and saw that the wanker (she didn't actually know what that meant, but she was running out of insults that started with 'W's, the whore had to pick the rarest word in the alphabet to start her name with) was laughing at something Jeeves had said and was giving him one of those flirtatious _'oh, you're too funny'_ shoves.

"He's so dead the moment I get out of this thing," Sam hissed, really wishing she an invisible ninja 'cause at least she'd have some star-dagger thing to through at their heads.

"Look, he just smiled, I think. It's hard to tell, either he smiled or his lips twitched." Sam pressed her nose to the glass and tried to get a better look. He better not have smiled. He, technically, was still under her ownership. She, technically, could still do whatever the hell she wanted with him and she did not say he could smile at whorefaced whorebag.

Sam looked at Carly, an idea popping into her head, "Do you have your phone?" Carly raised an eyebrow.

"Yes…" Sam instantly started to reach out and grope Carly in every which way, since that was the easiest way to find the phone, of course. Once she had retrieved the phone from Carly's pocket (after searching every other area). She opened the device and hit a series of button before sitting back smugly.

"Now, what is Jeeves doing?" she asked.

"He's…checking his phone? Sam, what did you send him?" Sam smiled and turned the screen so Sam could see the message. "'_We're watching you'? _Sam, why would you tell him we're watching him?"

"So he knows Mama sees all."

Carly sighed before a smile came to her face. "He's turning around to look at us…as if Wendy." Sam glanced over her shoulder and saw they were both trying to peer into their car. She flipped them off.

"Sam! Not helping." Carly gave a friendly wave. "Wendy will use your anger to her benefit."

"And what, woo him with her man-hands and Adam's apple?"

"She's actually kind of pretty, you know, if you get past the STDs she's probably swimming with."

Sam beamed. "Look at you, actually putting out a hurtful insult; I'm so proud."

Carly rolled her eyes before jumping as her cell phone, still clenched in her hand, let out a buzz. "Freddie says one, he isn't doing anything; two, he has to sit this close to Wendy so don't let you put any ideas into my head and three, he said to remind you that park security will prevent you from doing whatever your thinking before you get to do it…?" Carly sent a quizzical look at Sam as she sighed.

"The boy knows me well, as expected, he's been in our household for years-"

"It's been 13 months."

"Tell him that one, I know what he did," Sam glanced at her watched (the one she had stolen from Freddie's jewelry box). "Four minutes ago. Two, tell him that there is a floor and that he should make good use of it and tell him three, Mama can do him fast and dirty- before those _'security' _guard even know what hit them."

Carly paused in her texting. "Your number three sounds like your going to have-"

"I know what it sounds like, cupcake. That part was just for the whoring mind of little miss Windy, who will surely be reading over his shoulder."

Carly sent a disapproving glance but Sam saw a small smile slip onto her lips as she finished the message. Right as Sam turned around to gauge Freddie reaction the car started to move and the pair were taken out of view. Carly sighed.

"Now what?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Now, doll, we wait."

--

**General pov**

Freddie's pace was quick as he moved through the student parking lot over towards his car. When the bus pulled up to the school, he had gotten out and away from Wendy, and Carly, and Sam as quickly as possible. He sat with Gibby in the front; still mad at his girls but not stupid enough to sit with Wendy out of spite. And now, well he was taking the cowards way out of the situation because he was tired and just wanted to go home (he had to get home in the next ten minute or his mom would call the police) but unfortunately for him, women scorned (even under false pretenses) move like the wind.

Sam grabbed onto his collar and whipped him around about five feet from his car. Carly stood at the blonde's side looking a mixture of pissed off and anxious.

"You have some explaining to do, Freddifer."

"About what, Sam." Freddie played dumb, poorly.

"About Windy the Webcam Whore."

"Her name is Wendy, okay. Wendy."

"Yeah, whatever, I don't really care what Michaelson's name is. That's not issue." Sam cocked her hip out, watching the brunette boy with narrowed eyes.

"What's the issue then?"

"She likes you!" Carly cried out.

"Yeah, as a friend."

"No, as something more and you know it. I know you know it."

Freddie sighed, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Carly, we broke up a long time ago and decided to be just friends. It was her idea in the first place."

"Feelings change." Carly started before continuing on in a hurried breath. "Maybe she realized that she made a mistake! And what a great guy you are! And now she wants you back! And she is trying real hard! And you don't realize it! And you are going to fall for her tricks! And leave us!"

He looked at her like she had grown a second head. "That's not ever going to happen."

"You got in the ferris wheel car with her."

"Yeah Benson, you sure did. Sat real close too."

"I was mad, okay. I thought you guys-" Freddie looked at Sam for a second before shifting his gaze over to Carly specifically. "Well, you anyway, respected me more than that. She's my friend. And you know what, so what if Wendy likes me again because it shouldn't matter how she feels to you. It should matter how I feel and how I feel is nothing for her and everything for the two of you. I was mad that you guys didn't understand that. You should have understood that."

His gaze was on the pavement so he didn't see the expressions playing out on each girl's face. He was pretty surprised when he felt Carly's arms wrap around him and her face nuzzle into his neck.

"I'm sorry." She murmured.

He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and returned the hug fully, closing his eyes and reveling in the moment which is the explanation for the next surprised face when he felt Sam's arms wrap around him and Carly. Freddie opened his eyes to see a mess of blonde curls in his face.

"I'm just into group hugs, is why I'm here." She paused, and he was almost sure that was all but she spoke again. Well, more like muttered. "And I'm sorry or whatever."

And then everything was going to be alright.

"But I'm still going to beat the crap out of your _friend_, Wendy."

Kind of.


End file.
